How to Wake Someone Up: 12 Ways That Actually Work

Short answer

The best way to wake someone up is to start gentle and build up: open the curtains or turn on a light, say their name, then touch their shoulder. For heavy sleepers, combine light, sound and touch, and get them sitting up. To wake someone who isn't in the same room, a call can be missed on silent, but an alarm sent to their phone (for example with PingPal) rings even then.

Some people wake up the second you open the door. Others sleep through a fire drill. Below are 12 ways that work, sorted from gentle to "you are getting up now", plus how to do it without scaring anyone, how to wake someone from far away, and the one situation where you should stop trying and get help.

Why some people are so hard to wake

How easy someone is to wake depends a lot on which stage of sleep they're in. In deep sleep, which happens mostly in the first part of the night, people react much less to sound and touch. In lighter sleep, a whisper can be enough. That's why the same person can be easy to wake at 7 a.m. and almost impossible at 2 a.m.

When someone is pulled out of deep sleep, they often feel groggy and confused for a few minutes. This is normal and passes. It's also why a gentle start usually works better than a sudden shock: the person wakes up in a better mood and is less likely to fall straight back asleep.

5 gentle ways to wake someone up

Let the light in. Open the curtains or switch on a soft lamp. Light is one of the strongest signals to the body that it's time to wake up.
Say their name. Start quietly and get louder. People react to their own name more than to other sounds.
A light touch. A hand on the shoulder or arm, with a gentle squeeze. Avoid the face and don't shake.
Play their favorite song. Start at low volume and turn it up slowly. A song they like works better than a harsh beep.
Use smell. Fresh coffee or breakfast nearby wakes many people on its own, and gives them a reason to get up.

4 quick ways (when you're in a hurry)

Bright light all at once. Turn on the main light and open the blinds together.
Pull back the covers. A little cool air wakes people fast. Do it with a warning, not as a surprise.
Get them sitting up. Ask them to sit up and put their feet on the floor. People who sit up rarely fall back asleep.
A cold, wet cloth. On the hands or neck, not thrown in the face. It works fast without being cruel.

3 ways to wake up a heavy sleeper

Stack the signals. Light, sound and touch together. A heavy sleeper may ignore one, but rarely all three.
Change the sound. People get used to the same alarm and stop noticing it. A new song or a voice message from someone they know gets through better.
Make them do something. Ask them to stand up, walk to the kitchen or send you a selfie. Once they're moving, they're awake.

If you're trying to wake yourself, not someone else, we compared the best alarm apps for heavy sleepers.

How to wake someone up without scaring them

Approach from the side, not from directly above their face.
Say their name before you touch them, so the first thing they notice is your voice.
Keep the room calm: soft light, normal voice, no sudden loud noises.
Give them a moment. Most people need a minute or two before they can think clearly.

This matters most with children, older people, light sleepers and anyone who has had a bad night.

Funny (but kind) ways to wake someone up

A wake-up song with a meaning: the theme from their favorite show or a song from an inside joke.
Send in the pet. A dog or cat on the bed is hard to ignore.
Breakfast in bed or their coffee on the nightstand.
A voice alarm from you: record yourself singing badly and set it as their alarm.

Keep it friendly: no water buckets, air horns or anything that could hurt or really frighten them.

How to wake someone up from far away

If you're not in the same place, your options depend on their phone:

Call twice. On iPhone, if they use Do Not Disturb or a Focus, a second call from the same person within three minutes can ring through when "Allow Repeated Calls" is on.
Emergency Bypass. If they turn this on for your contact on their iPhone, your calls ring even on silent. They have to set it up in advance.
Send an alarm to their phone. Calls and texts are easy to sleep through. An app like PingPal lets you send a real alarm with your voice or a song; it rings at the time you choose even on silent, between iPhone and Android.

We explain every option in detail in our guide on how to send an alarm to someone's phone. For couples in different cities, see how to wake up your partner when you're miles apart.

Need to wake someone who isn't next to you? Send them an alarm with PingPal, free.

What not to do

Don't shake someone hard or grab their head. It can hurt and it frightens people.
Don't throw water or use very loud noises right next to their ears.
Don't startle a sleepwalker. It isn't dangerous to wake one, but they can be very confused. Speak calmly and gently guide them back to bed.
Don't keep waking someone who is unwell to "check on them" without a reason; rest helps. If you're worried, see the next section.

If someone won't wake up

Important

A deep sleeper wakes up when you call their name loudly and shake their shoulder firmly. If someone doesn't respond to a loud voice and firm touch, is breathing strangely or not at all, or you can't wake them after drinking, drugs or a head injury, call your local emergency number now and stay with them. Don't wait to see if they wake up on their own.

This guide is about everyday waking up, not medical advice. If someone you live with is regularly very hard to wake or always exhausted, it's worth talking to a doctor.

FAQ

How do you wake someone up quickly?

Turn on bright light, say their name firmly, pull back the covers with a warning and get them to sit up with their feet on the floor. Sitting up is the step that stops most people from falling back asleep.

How do you politely wake someone up?

Open the curtains, say their name softly, wait a moment, then touch their shoulder. Give them a minute to come round and tell them why you woke them ("It's 7:30, we leave in 20 minutes").

How do you wake someone up who won't wake up?

For a heavy sleeper, combine light, a loud voice and a firm touch, and change the alarm sound regularly. But if someone doesn't react to a loud voice and firm shaking at all, treat it as an emergency and call for help.

Is it bad to wake someone up from deep sleep?

For a healthy adult it isn't harmful, but they'll probably feel groggy and grumpy for a few minutes. Waking them gently and at the end of the night, when sleep is lighter, makes it easier.

How can you wake someone up if their phone is on silent?

A normal call or text won't ring. Options are Emergency Bypass for your contact on their iPhone (set up in advance), repeated calls when they use Do Not Disturb with repeated calls allowed, or an alarm app like PingPal, whose alarms ring even on silent.